(no subject)

[iceinyourmusic]

But only because I want it said and written down and confessed that now, still, now, there is nothing good that ever comes my way that I won't throw away, like an idiot, like the idiot that I am; and if I can't, if I can't, at the age of 23, understand that things thrown away can't always be retrieved or revived, then I am twice the idiot. I want it printed on my forehead: you will lose what you treat carelessly, you will. I want it blasted into my ears, high and loud, because I see it but I don't believe it.

- and I want to explain or do penance or do it all over or take it back or make it better, magically make it all better - just make it go away (come back) -

Grow up. grow up. grow up grow up grow up grow up grow up.

(it's gone.)


[Ed. also? relatives & holidays, too much now.]