the receipt's in the bag

[iceinyourmusic]

This Life You Sent Me Looks Nothing Like the One in the Brochure
A melodrama in 1 act

Characters:
Mother, orderly, organized, responsible
Me, employed, stir-crazy

Lights.

MOTHER (on the phone): Screw this rain. Screw this roof-fixing business. Screw the whole cottage. We're leaving town, hitting the open road, following the sun. The world's our oyster, and weather charts point east. (Be a darling and check up on your grandmother every once in a while, would you?)

ME (on the phone): Weh?

MOTHER (on the phone): Oh, and we sold your books.

ME: Flails. Drops receiver.

Curtain.

Comments

[gatefiction.livejournal.com]

eep!

[leksa.livejournal.com]

it's okay, i eventually found out that she'd only sold the two bagfuls i'd already picked out as disposable one or two movings-of-house ago. but including the happy ending would have taken something away from the dramatic tension of the plot, don't you think?

(but yes, work sucketh astroturf, so yay! for your up-coming vacay!)

[gatefiction.livejournal.com]

Ah, curse you and your strange aptitude for dramatic tension! for I feared for you, I did. Books and cats are things people aren't allowed to sell in secret.

(work sux giant elephant balls. is it as rainy over there as here? we've had TWO sunny days the past six weeks, by god. but yay! for vacay, indeed.

ooh! wanna go to london for xmas shopping? for, like, two days? i like shopping with you.

what do you mean excessive planning? moi?)

[leksa.livejournal.com]

is it as rainy over there as here?

hell yeah, hence the mother's sudden insanity (i assume).

wanna go to london for xmas shopping? for, like, two days?

oh yeees. we should. (excessive planning is fun, anyways.)

[gatefiction.livejournal.com]

hence the mother's sudden insanity (i assume).

oooh, i saw an article in Aftonbladet about people going all depressive due to the shitty summer we're having. so it's prolly good that she's taking some kind of trip. ehm. might also be why i am planning xmas already...

Let's pick a weekend in November and coordinate flights. we can stay at that big hotel in picadilly, close to everything and all. mmm, charing cross road...

[leksa.livejournal.com]

Let's pick a weekend in November and coordinate flights.

let's! yay! now i'm all jumpy! at the exact time i'm about to go to sleep! but yes! london yummy.

(and, really, you know it's been a truly crappy summer when even i'm ready to complain about the lack of sun. because, yes. crappy.)

[gatefiction.livejournal.com]

eep, go to sleep! we'll have four months to get all jumpy about it! *evil, happy smile*

the a/u version:

"Blair," said the burly agent in a voice rough with emotion, "will you... Will you go away with me on a weekend trip?"

"A weekend trip?" gasped the younger man. "You mean, like, a romantic weekend in a little cottage in the woods?"

Jim gaped profusely.

"No, Chief, not... the woods. They give me combat flashbacks. I was thinking London, Alabama."

Blair felt tears well in his azure eyes.

"London, Alabama. Oh, I love you so much, my Sentinel!"

[leksa.livejournal.com]

No, Chief, not... the woods. They give me combat flashbacks.

ahahaHAHA. **loves on teh Sentinel**

(the alternate alternate U:

Chilling November rain drizzled down Fox's ruggedly handsome features as the creepingly cold pressure of the steely pipe of a gun (the make of which Fox could correctly identify well enough to recognize the man who wielded it though no other hint had escaped the secrecy) eased off his moist temple and warm, ruggedly manly fingers removed the woollen cloth that had covered the FBI agent's steely eyes almost tenderly.

Fox looked around ruggedly. "This is London, Alex," he pointed out to his manly captor. "London, Alabama. Pray tell, what for have you brought me here (at gunpoint)?"

A hoarse voice whispered in the agent's ear. "I wanted to go shopping with you, Fox." There was an untraceable hint of an accent in his hoarse voice as his warm breath caressed Fox's rain-soaked neck gently. An involuntary chill creeped down Fox's manly spine. *~*I must make sure not to let myself be seduced the traitorous man who brought me here.*~* he thought in the drizzling November rain.)

*off to sleep*

[gatefiction.livejournal.com]

*is dead*

au of the au of the au-

Fox wriggled out from under his tall captor. Alex was asleep, his velvet eyes closed thanks to the intense outporing of passion only half an hour ago.

"Oh Alex," sighed the sad FBI agent. Their lovemaking had been earthshattering and Fox knew that if he did not evade his captor this instant, he would pour out all his feelings of love for the black-haired rouge.

He left the hotel room only to stumble right into a manly chest. He gasped as he recognized the buff police officer and former Marine, Jim Ellison. They had become friends when they worked together on a case... More than friends.

Fox shuddered as he remembered the stocky Marine bending him over and pounding into him!

"Fox?" said Jim. "What are you doing here? Have you seen Blair around? He was just going out to get... eh, pizza."

Pizza! Suddenly Fox felt very ill-disposed towards the slim anthropologist...

[leksa.livejournal.com]

And this:

Fox shuddered as he remembered the stocky Marine bending him over and pounding into him!

is so the One True Line of My Heart 4EVA. You know it.