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iceinyourmusicRitual:
1. At 20, I wrote "don't underestimate me" in my diary. "You'll be laughing at this, but don't you dare to underestimate me, later on."
2. I saw a suicide attempt last fall. She was about my age, ponytail, beige coat, black handbag she set down on the edge of the platform so carefully I thought she was going down onto the tracks to pick up something she'd dropped. "Thank god," I thought, "thank god I'm not any closer because I don't want to risk anything to try to save her." The dull thud of the metro hitting her was nothing short of the cliche; metro driver had a bad perm and confused eyes, and the girl was left screaming when they ushered us off the platform. Now it's a circus piece I play over in my head just to recall the adrenaline rush.
3. Lazy warm desire to melt and fade into the background, stop speaking, stop existing so much, stop connecting things to words, because I'm dreadfully bored and disgusted and imagine it would be like staying in bed all day long. Lazy warm desire to escape dialogue.
You'll be laughing at this. You should.
1. At 20, I wrote "don't underestimate me" in my diary. "You'll be laughing at this, but don't you dare to underestimate me, later on."
2. I saw a suicide attempt last fall. She was about my age, ponytail, beige coat, black handbag she set down on the edge of the platform so carefully I thought she was going down onto the tracks to pick up something she'd dropped. "Thank god," I thought, "thank god I'm not any closer because I don't want to risk anything to try to save her." The dull thud of the metro hitting her was nothing short of the cliche; metro driver had a bad perm and confused eyes, and the girl was left screaming when they ushered us off the platform. Now it's a circus piece I play over in my head just to recall the adrenaline rush.
3. Lazy warm desire to melt and fade into the background, stop speaking, stop existing so much, stop connecting things to words, because I'm dreadfully bored and disgusted and imagine it would be like staying in bed all day long. Lazy warm desire to escape dialogue.
You'll be laughing at this. You should.
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Date: 2004-04-03 11:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-04 11:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-04 11:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-03 12:03 pm (UTC)