communities in the way of development

[iceinyourmusic]

Holy un-polly poll, Batman! No, but a question: Could you imagine being in a serious long-term exclusive (etc. etc.) relationship, all other factors allowing, with someone who didn't know (and didn't learn to know) your (whatever you consider your primary) language? Assuming that you were able to communicate, that is - that you, then, spoke their primary language (as a foreign language of some degree) and/or that you two had some third language, foreign to both of you, in common.

(Are you in such a relationship? Have you been? How does/did that work out for you?)

Bonus round: to what extent does your answer depend on what language we're assuming your immediate living environment would use in this scenario?

Bonus round two: Conversely, could you be/are you/have you been in a serious-type relationship where the other person's primary language would be/is/was one you didn't know, and not learn it, if they were/are able to speak yours and/or you used/use some third language to communicate?

(If you like, I could totally draw up a nice picture of poll results by hand. Also, I'm nearly sure it would be a deal-breaker for me personally.)

Going home again, to work, for the weekend. O bliss indeed.

[Edited somewhat because I'm unable to communicate in English.]

Comments

[few.livejournal.com]

Obviously if I were in a relationship with someone who didn't speak English natively, I'd learn their language; that's a given. But more because of the "language! shiny!" factor than the relationship part.

My uncle, however, married a woman from Vietnam and to the best of my knowledge hasn't made any attempt to learn Vietnamese. Their kids are being raised bilingual, though. (Since the primary babysitters are her parents, whose English is minimal, it doesn't matter if their father doesn't ever use it--they still get plenty of practice.)

[leksa.livejournal.com]

more because of the "language! shiny!" factor

Uh, me too, probably, which is why I suspect that it wouldn't necessarily be fair of a linguistically-inclined person to expect such things of a non-linguistically-inclined one (and yet, on the other hand, well).

I do know a bunch of perfectly happy couples where one of them has never learned the other's language (or, even, where neither one has), so I assume it can be done, but especially when there are bilingual kids involved, it confuses me utterly - I mean, doesn't it drive people nuts with curiosity not to understand their children's mother tongue? - But then again, yes, there are other factors tangled up there.