hee, see, here I am wondering if it makes me a terrible person to say that it would matter to me (I mean, it is a big (and selfish) thing to ask of someone, esp. if you already speak their language anyway).
But, you know, it's probably not a moral issue in any direction - I mean, if both halves of a couple are happy with whatever they choose to do, etc. When I say that it would be a deal-breaker for me, I certainly don't mean that "omg I would never be in a relationship with someone so mean and evol", but rather that it would be stupid of me to say, "oh well, whatevers" when I know that it would probably make me unhappy (why do you not caaare about this very special big part of meee?) and frustrated (not just being required to use a foreign language all day long - that I think I could do - but also being, in a sense, barred from using my own, in that context) and eventually quite pissed off. Which, on the other hand, is approximately how I assume my prospective SO would end up feeling if they really hated learning languages (which really is a fairly valid reason for not learning languages :)) and had to do it anyway, so. There we are.
That is, I assume it's not as big a deal for your husband, then, which is also great, though not something I can personally relate to. *g* I wonder - if you don't mind me asking, do you know to what extent he considers himself bilingual (if he's been educated primarily in English as well)? That is, is English a "foreign" (for lack of better word, gah) language to him, or his "other" language (or similar)? I mean, my biased perspective here is very much that of a monolingual, too (in the sense that while I know other languages, Finnish is the only one that is "mine") - and I don't know, but I would guess that, for example, what language you've gone to school in is something that will affect the constellation of which to language plays what (and how big a) part in the culturally contextual You. :)
no subject
hee, see, here I am wondering if it makes me a terrible person to say that it would matter to me (I mean, it is a big (and selfish) thing to ask of someone, esp. if you already speak their language anyway).
But, you know, it's probably not a moral issue in any direction - I mean, if both halves of a couple are happy with whatever they choose to do, etc. When I say that it would be a deal-breaker for me, I certainly don't mean that "omg I would never be in a relationship with someone so mean and evol", but rather that it would be stupid of me to say, "oh well, whatevers" when I know that it would probably make me unhappy (why do you not caaare about this very special big part of meee?) and frustrated (not just being required to use a foreign language all day long - that I think I could do - but also being, in a sense, barred from using my own, in that context) and eventually quite pissed off. Which, on the other hand, is approximately how I assume my prospective SO would end up feeling if they really hated learning languages (which really is a fairly valid reason for not learning languages :)) and had to do it anyway, so. There we are.
That is, I assume it's not as big a deal for your husband, then, which is also great, though not something I can personally relate to. *g* I wonder - if you don't mind me asking, do you know to what extent he considers himself bilingual (if he's been educated primarily in English as well)? That is, is English a "foreign" (for lack of better word, gah) language to him, or his "other" language (or similar)? I mean, my biased perspective here is very much that of a monolingual, too (in the sense that while I know other languages, Finnish is the only one that is "mine") - and I don't know, but I would guess that, for example, what language you've gone to school in is something that will affect the constellation of which to language plays what (and how big a) part in the culturally contextual You. :)