![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
unreal animals
Jan. 26th, 2003 09:56 pm(Not a statement.)
1. (a week from st. henry's day)
Winter it is. Henry, the bishop, has decided it's time to go east and save the pagans, and off he goes. It's hard work, and he needs a place to stay, so he knocks on a door and who should answer but Lalli? They have a medieval good time, eat, sleep, feast in the east; too bad Lalli's wife is such a vicious bitch. Off he goes in the morning, Henry, the bishop, but for reasons of her own, Lalli's nameless wife encourages her husband to go after & chase, so Lalli does. Straps grandfather's old skis on his feet and tramples across the white sheets spread on the auditorium floor, until the two of them meet on the ice of the frozen lake. Henry has the new faith but Lalli has an axe. Tramples back to the wife, shows her Henry's ring and paper hat and says: "Look, wife! I have killed the Pope!"
"Oh, baby. Oh, baby," says wife, and she may be just a medieval woman, but damn she’s pretty and she can say 'oh baby' so it makes your socks twirl, "oh, baby, you did it. Can you put them on, can you put the ring and the paper hat on, just this once –" whispers in his ear "– just for me?"
Lalli does. Tries to take them off afterwards, and: his whole finger comes off, skalp comes off, and maybe they die.
Henry is dead and a saint.
The pagans figure their Virgin Mary got pregnant by swallowing a lingonberry.
2.
"But Dustin," Vance Pike says to his friend, "didn't you say that you and Bridget broke up because she cheated on you with Winston?"
"Oh, no, baby," Dustin Thunderlake responds, and he may be just a dancing singing boy from an entirely fictional pop ensemble, but he's got pretty nice eyelashes and he can say 'oh baby' like no one's business, "no, baby, actually it was just because she always knew I’d rather be with you, yo."
1. (a week from st. henry's day)
Winter it is. Henry, the bishop, has decided it's time to go east and save the pagans, and off he goes. It's hard work, and he needs a place to stay, so he knocks on a door and who should answer but Lalli? They have a medieval good time, eat, sleep, feast in the east; too bad Lalli's wife is such a vicious bitch. Off he goes in the morning, Henry, the bishop, but for reasons of her own, Lalli's nameless wife encourages her husband to go after & chase, so Lalli does. Straps grandfather's old skis on his feet and tramples across the white sheets spread on the auditorium floor, until the two of them meet on the ice of the frozen lake. Henry has the new faith but Lalli has an axe. Tramples back to the wife, shows her Henry's ring and paper hat and says: "Look, wife! I have killed the Pope!"
"Oh, baby. Oh, baby," says wife, and she may be just a medieval woman, but damn she’s pretty and she can say 'oh baby' so it makes your socks twirl, "oh, baby, you did it. Can you put them on, can you put the ring and the paper hat on, just this once –" whispers in his ear "– just for me?"
Lalli does. Tries to take them off afterwards, and: his whole finger comes off, skalp comes off, and maybe they die.
Henry is dead and a saint.
The pagans figure their Virgin Mary got pregnant by swallowing a lingonberry.
2.
"But Dustin," Vance Pike says to his friend, "didn't you say that you and Bridget broke up because she cheated on you with Winston?"
"Oh, no, baby," Dustin Thunderlake responds, and he may be just a dancing singing boy from an entirely fictional pop ensemble, but he's got pretty nice eyelashes and he can say 'oh baby' like no one's business, "no, baby, actually it was just because she always knew I’d rather be with you, yo."
